Claire came into our lives 17 years ago when we lived in Corpus Christi, TX. I was walking home from a friend’s house and out of no-where, up walks this crème torbi, sweet, and chatty, rubbing up against my legs, circling my ankles. I was sure another feline was not in our future as Kittle and Tex certainly would not welcome a new friend into their home. She followed me all the way home, talking the entire time.
When I reached down to offer her my hand to smell and to pet her, I found she was skinny beyond good health and her ears were infected with mites. She was in rough shape despite her demeanor. I knew I had to help her.
Her personality was soft, sweet, cuddly and she never met a stranger she didn’t like. She was different than any cat Rob and I had ever known. She was beautiful beyond compare with hazel eyes that beamed with purity, wisdom and love and a coat that was soft as silk. She was a lap cat, seeking out the warmest available or cuddling tight, snuggling throughout the night or during a nap.
As friends and family got to know her, her personality stood out amongst our other cats… she was an extravert in every sense, always making new friends. Claire was gregarious, personable, kind, and sweet, although demanding if fish showed up at the house. We suspect while she was a stray, she hung out at the fish docks near our home as fishermen brought in their catch and cleaned the fish. Her love of fish never waned.
Although Claire was an indoor cat, we’d go on long walks together around the house, where she’d take in her surroundings, even coming nose to nose with a deer a few times. She had a patch of tall grass she loved to chew on from time to time. She’d hang on out on the front porch with us, basking in the sunshine, telling us how she’d love to catch that bird over there in the Douglas Fir. She loved her guided outside time.
Claire was a night owl. She was an expert at waking us up if her food supply was low or she just wanted a chin scratch or two. Blind banging was just one of her preferred methods of making us crazy. She’d do this until we threw socks or yelled. If that method didn’t get us out of bed, she’d meow and carry on, wondering from one side of the bed to the other. The water bottle didn’t deter her either. Instead of leaving the room upon being sprayed, she got on up in the bed, with her wet fur to cuddle, which made us crazy, but it also made us laugh.
She finally wised up and would set further than the water bottle sprayer could reach, chatting and carrying on. Her tactics changed several times and I finally decided all of this was not worth the effort and started getting up for her when she first demanded it. It was worth it, because generally, she’d let us sleep after refilling her food bowl, although I gave her the boot a few nights and locked her out of the bedroom. Now I wish I hadn’t.
Every spring and throughout summer she’d wake us up as the sun came up, asking for the back door to be opened. This was one of her favorite places to bask as the sunlight streamed in. We’d put her sleeping pad in the doorway and she’d snooze there most of the morning, lanky legs sprawled out, tail swaying, sleeping and occasionally raising her head up to see what was going on around her.
Perhaps the most profound part of her life was when she was diagnosed with kidney disease. This is when we discovered the depth of love we had for her and her for us. It was October 2012; Claire’s appetite was waning, then, she stopped eating altogether. We rushed her to our vet’s office where a simple blood test determined she was in kidney failure. Not knowing anything about this, we were devastated and scared, thinking the worst. We were told she’d need to spend at least three days in the intensive care unit at the vet hospital where she’d receive intravenous fluids. We admitted her. I’m sure it was a scary time for her, but she did incredibly well, began to recover, and started eating again.
While she was in the hospital, I researched everything I could about kidney failure, in order to help our sweet girl. I joined an online support group for helping me better understand and manage this diagnosis. I couldn’t have managed without them. In retrospect, I wish our vet had called kidney failure, kidney disease. Failure is scary and sounds like death is near. Disease tells me it’s something that can be managed. To our relief we learned kidney disease can be managed and extend life for many years post diagnosis.
What did this mean, managing kidney disease? One of the most important things we needed to do for Claire was to keep her hydrated because kidney disease dehydrates. We were told we needed to give her subcutaneous fluids at least 3x per week. This meant we were to insert a 1” needle into her skin, subcutaneously, and give her 100 mL of lactated ringers. It looks like the IV bags you see at the hospital. The vet told us this would take about 5 minutes per session. Our vet showed us how to do it… she made it look easy.
Administering fluids proved challenging at first. We weren’t sure if it would ever work. But with patience, practice, support and diligence, we succeeded. We’d set her up on an ironing board so that Rob and I could stand on either side of her. After warming her fluids in a heating pad, we hung the fluid bag from the ceiling fan. Rob would insert the needle and monitor the fluids while I finger fed her baby food, which included her other medications. Her favorite baby food was ham; it was the stinkiest.
After about a year of this, Claire started coming to us for her fluids. We figured she knew it made her feel better. At first, she’d jump on the adjacent table and wait to be lifted to the top of the ironing board. After about two years, she started jumping up on the ironing board at her routine time and waited for us to arrive with her warmed fluids and baby food. We never had to carry her to the ironing board again. It was about this time we had to increase her fluids, giving them to her every day.
The disease was a bit roller coaster, but we managed, through therapy and medicines to keep her feeling good and stable up until the last few months of her life. For the duration of her therapy, Rob and I were committed to our best friend. We decided home vet care would be best for her to minimize stress. We switched her food from canned wet and dry to a strictly raw diet, as long as she would accept it, and made sure there was water in multiple places in the house for easy access. She even had a glass on my bed side table. Kidney cats lose their appetite easily, so we often had to bribe her with a little garnish on her food in the form of bonito flakes. There were several times where we’d tweak her medicines or have to increase her fluids due to low hydration levels. Nursing care was a daily activity.
Over the last several months of her life, we started noticing a steep decline in her energy and interest in food. She was losing weight, becoming weaker and weaker, unable to get comfortable, and losing interest in her favorite things. We knew the time was drawing near where we’d have to say goodbye. We agonized over this for several months, but just by watching her and as difficult as it was, we knew it was time.
Claire ate raw salmon, one of her favorite things on her last day of life, and was in her favorite sunny doorway that Sunday, April 12, 2015, morning. She died there, in her home, surrounded by her forever family, her caring veterinarian, love and gratitude. We buried her next to her sister, Kittle, under the fir trees in our back yard. We surrounded her grave in flowers. Her loss was one of the most difficult things Rob and I have ever endured. It was agonizing.
We miss her terribly. The bond from caretaking alone was stronger than we’d ever imagined. From her little grunts, calls, meows, cuddles, waking us up in the middle of the night, to her soft fur, tail swaying while she slept, always running to the door and greeting us upon our return home and her forever reminder to slow down and be still.
I write this in hopes that those who are reading will get their cat’s senior panel done at least once per year starting at the age of 7 years old, to keep an eye on your feline’s kidney values and other essential health markers. Know if you find your cat is in renal failure, much can be done to help your friend. Do not give up hope. If your vet knows little regarding kidney disease, get a second opinion. You are your cat’s only advocate. Veterinary medicine has advanced in this area of feline health and much is known regarding this disease. Therapy is effective and can save your best friends life. Claire lived a beautiful three and a half years post diagnosis; she was 18 when she passed. We are forever grateful to the support and care she received, as we continued to receive her gifts far longer than we, at first, ever imagined. She was worth every ounce of effort.
Tanya’s Comprehensive Guide to Feline Chronic Kidney Disease is an online support group for pet parents navigating their way through Feline Kidney Disease. It helped us manage Claire through hers and I believe added quality years to her beautiful life.
This is our song to her: So Good To Me by Chris Malinchak
…love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation ~K Gibran
Ellen Wanser says
October 24, 2018 at 8:03 amI just read your tribute to Claire and I am writing this with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye. What a beautiful memorial to a remarkable cat. I have 6 cats but there is one special girl named Sillycat. She is much like Claire, very social and gregarious with a loving personality. When the time comes I hope that I can author a tribute as wonderful as yours. Thank you for giving us a glimpse of a truly wonderful cat!
Suzanne Sheldon says
May 1, 2016 at 9:41 amClaire was so beautiful & it sounds like she was one of those special cats. I’ve had many many cats, while I loved them all & cannot say that I loved any one over another, there have been a few who stole our hearts. Rusty was one such cat. When my son brought him home from his co-worker, I said ‘NO! Absolutely not!’ I thought the two cats I had adopted, after a dog killed my absolutely precious very special cat, were enough. Rusty was a tiny, filthy & rude orange & white kitten, abandoned with his littermate on a woman’s porch. The shelter was full & this very young woman had to bottle feed them. Being young, she was often late to do those feedings. After Rusty moved in with us, he would protect his little dish of food & threaten to destroy any of our adult cats who came near, spitting, growling & slashing out at the air with his teeny tiny paws. Anyhow, we loved him so much; his head butts, his loyal greeting when we arrived home, his single claw just barely hooking our lip 20 minutes before the alarm went off. He loved to play more than any of our other cats, but he would never retract those deadly sharp claws. Poor Rusty, probably never understood why we all (cats too) were afraid to play ‘You Can’t Get Me’, but he loved to take long hikes & preferred to stay by our side. He was only 11 when he came down with kidney disease. As if we couldn’t bond any closer, we actually loved him so much more deeply as we gave him the subcutaneous fluids. Finally, they weren’t helping & he refused. We respected his wishes. It’s been 3 years & I miss that little guy so very much.Thank you for the story of Claire.
Cassie says
April 17, 2016 at 8:40 amI am a new reader, hence I have very little insight of Claire, but I can tell from these pictures that she was such a beautiful gift for this Earth and your home. This tribute was absolutely heartbreaking, but reading about how much you loved her and how much she loved you was so beautifully compelling. I may be a year late but I hope that you can still accept my prayers and my love to you and your family.
Lynn | The Road to Honey says
April 15, 2016 at 3:04 pmClaire was such a beauty Traci. . .both in looks and in spirit. She sounds a lot like my little Asia and I am all too familiar with that strong bond that you create with them as you are helping them through their illness. It sounds like your care and devotion allowed Claire to have many additional happy years with you and your hubby. Hugs to you as you remember Claire’s life and all the beautiful memories you created with her.
Traci says
April 18, 2016 at 4:30 pmThank you for reading, and your sweet, kind words, Lynn. My your memories of Asia bring you joy and comfort, as Claire’s memory does mine now. I’m so sorry for her passing. xo
Martha says
April 14, 2016 at 2:21 pmI can only say “I know how much it hurts.” What would the world be like without animal lovers like you and your husband. Every time we have one that goes to the Rainbow Bridge it seems another one shows up shortly thereafter. We’ve had as many as seven at one time… it’s been a year since our last one departed, but in the last few days I’ve seen one hanging out in the woods nearby eating the food we put out for the wild animals…looks like our replacement is here.
Traci says
April 15, 2016 at 7:24 amThank you for your kind words, Martha. You’ve brought so many into your home; thank you for that. No doubt your new forest kitty has found her forever home. What a gift. xo
Aysegul says
April 14, 2016 at 6:36 amI am very sorry for your loss Traci. Such a sad and touching story.
<3
Traci says
April 14, 2016 at 8:38 amThank you for your sweet words, Aysegul. She lives in our hearts forever. xo
Kelsey M says
May 4, 2015 at 8:40 pmThis was such a beautiful post and a beautiful tribute to her life. Reading this reminded me of my cats and my life with them- good an bad- when they are loving and when they drive me nuts.
This post was heart wrenching and really shows how much you both cared and impacted each other’s lives.
Traci says
May 5, 2015 at 7:53 amThank you, thank you, Kelsey. Hehe.. drive you nuts :D. I miss that part. Give your kiddos a chin scratch for me.
Jenné @ Sweet Potato Soul says
May 1, 2015 at 5:40 pmYour tribute to sweet Claire inspired me to write a little bit of a tribute to my lost doggies. Boy was that difficult for me to do. Thank you for inspiring me Traci. Sending you love <3 xo
Traci says
May 1, 2015 at 8:47 pmOh Jenne’… thank you. I am so happy to hear you wrote a tribute. As hard as it is, I truly believe it is an important step in the grieving process. I know it helped me. xo
Sarah @ SnixyKitchen says
May 1, 2015 at 1:40 amTraci, I’m bawling now. Claire was such a beautiful girl and your words to her were the sweetest most thoughtful words a kitty mama has ever written. From your stories, it’s so clear that Claire knew how much you both loved her – I’m so sorry for your loss, but also so happy you got to share a lifetime with such a special (and clever) kitty! Thanks for sharing this story!
Traci says
May 1, 2015 at 7:17 amOh Sarah… I know your a kitty mama and cherish your kiddos… Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much. And that is what I try to focus on; gratitude. It’s helped me tremendously, although I cried again just yesterday from missing her. Give your kiddos a chin scratch for me. :)
Jennifer Harmon {Peppers and Peaches} says
April 29, 2015 at 9:13 amWhat a wonderful post; I am so thankful you shared. I have a 5 year old calico who sounds a lot like your Claire. She loves to wake us in the wee hours of the morning by banging blinds. In fact, when she was younger, she knew how to turn on my printer and feed paper through until I woke up and sprayed her! I take her to the vet whenever she seems “off”, not often luckily. However, this August she turns 6. I will be taking her regularly from then on due to this post. Mary Jane (said kitty) does not ever go outside so I assumed she did not need the vet. However, you have shown me there are other potential issues that could happen to my sweet baby girl. Again, thank you for sharing. I hope MJ lives as long a life as your baby.
Traci says
April 29, 2015 at 10:38 pmOh my goodness, Jennifer! Your sweet girl is full of character and vibrance! It’s hard to get mad at em’, when they’re so precious, right? Oh my goodness, banging blinds! How do they know?! Vet bills can add up, but if you can catch kidney disease early enough, and your vet is knowledgeable about kidney disease, it can be mitigated without subcutaneous fluids, at least in the earliest stages. The online support group gave me the education I needed to ask important questions of my vet and be able to advocate for Claire. They are an impressive group with years of experience. There is always someone waiting to help. Senior panels usually include kidney tests and diabetes. But ask just to make sure. Both Kittle and Claire were indoor cats, so we didn’t think to start getting them checked until later in life… and it was too late for Claire. We were able to stave Kittle’s kidney disease off for about a year, but it finally took hold. Give your MJ a chin scratch for me, Jennifer. :D Thank you so much for sharing. I’m so happy Claire’s story has helped!
mira says
April 28, 2015 at 6:09 pmSo sorry for your loss guys! Love Claire’s story and looking at the pictures, and I know she had a great life with you! Love pets! Saying goodbye is hard, because they are a huge part of our life! Your tribute is beautiful!
Traci says
April 29, 2015 at 8:38 amThank you, Mira. Your note means so much. <3
Nora (A Clean Bake) says
April 27, 2015 at 5:14 pmOh, Traci…. This is so beautiful Thank you so much for introducing us to your beloved companion so we could help you mourn. Claire was so lucky to have you. Though no one will ever replace Claire, I hope you’re starting to feel better :)
Traci says
April 29, 2015 at 8:31 amThank you, Nora. I’m so grateful for her, her life and love. These little furry beings grip us. I am starting to feel better, accepting the new norm. Thank you for your sweetness.
Evi @ greenevi says
April 27, 2015 at 5:35 amI am so sorry for your loss, Traci! This is just so horrible…
Reading your beautiful tribute made me smile and cry at the same time. Seems like you had a wonderful life together, like it was meant to be!
I am sending you big hugs, stay strong!
Traci says
April 29, 2015 at 8:30 amThank you, Evi, for your sweetness and kind words. It means so much. <3
Courtney says
April 24, 2015 at 9:23 pmI’m so sorry for your loss but also SO grateful for her life. Not many people understand renal disease in cats and a lot of people are afraid of veterinarians in general, because a lot of diagnosing is guessing when blood work/testing fails. My Angel was diagnosed at only 7 years old with kidney failure, and while I was blessed with only one year with him (subcutaneous fluids, barrage of medicines and special foods, etc) I am happy for every moment I had with him.
I work at an animal rescue where we pull cats and kittens from public kill shelters and adopt them to wonderful families. This story is heartbreaking and heartwarming, and I thank God for people and families like yours in the world.
♡♡♡
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:25 pmOh Courtney, your note means so much. Yes, yes, so grateful. Oh 7 YO Angel. That’s so young. So grateful too, you had another year with your Angel. It is often a challenging path, kidney disease, for caretakers. But after having two cats with this disease, we’ve somewhat got it down… the treatments and what to expect. It was overwhelming for at least the first year.
Thank you for the work you do in animal rescue. There are so many in need of loving homes. And I know, we will not be without animals for long. Their spirit and heart is so pure… innocent. xxx
Carla (@charliesue) says
April 24, 2015 at 1:56 pmI’m so sorry for your loss, what a sweet kitty she was and I love the joy that you obviously brought to each other. xo
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:20 pmThank you for your sweet words, Carla. She was pure love.
[email protected]a says
April 24, 2015 at 10:36 amSending big hugs your way, Traci. We are also pet lovers so I can imagine the sadness you’re experiencing. They say sorrow is the price we pay for love… Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories of Claire. xo
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:20 pmThank you for your kindness, Annie. I appreciate your words and wisdom so much.
Natalie @ Tastes Lovely says
April 24, 2015 at 8:23 amWhat a lovely and happy life you provided for Claire! I am so glad she found you. Sending you lots of love friend!
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:18 pmI feel warmth all around. Thank you for your sweet words, Natalie.
Carrie says
April 23, 2015 at 11:04 pm*sigh* I put off reading this for a couple days ’cause I knew I would be deeply affected and would have to grab the kleenexes….again. Sure enough, that I did. I read all the comments first then looked at the pictures then took a breath and read what you wrote. Gees, you and Rob are, without a doubt, the most caring cat parents I have ever seen or known and I know how very very sad you are over Claire’s departure. She sure brought you many years of happiness. I am a more compassionate kitty lover having had the pleasure of knowing her, too. She was a beautiful little soul. I love your description of first seeing her and how she followed you home (she was no dummy, she said, “Hey human…I pick YOU”). Your photography of her is amazeballs (I will forward to my folks to see too). You did the unselfish, for Claire’s sake, when it needed to be done. Bless you and Rob & bless Claire kitty (aka “C-Laire”). Thank you for sharing this, Traci. It’s so beautiful. I miss her ~
Carrie
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:17 pmI know, Carrie. You were her nurse and friend and I know there is sadness in your heart too. I had to write. For me, for Claire, for others who know. I couldn’t agree more with ‘she chose us.’ I think that is what she was chatting about when she came into our lives on that summer afternoon 17 years ago. Thank you Carrie, for your warm thoughts, remembrance and friendship. Give Pop and Jazzy chin scratches in honor of Claire. I miss her too. xo
jacquie says
April 23, 2015 at 5:37 pma truly heartfelt and beautiful tribute to your dear cat. While some may disagree with me, in my experience the loss of a pet who is so well loved and cared for is akin to losing a close family member or very dear friend. The grief can be so profound and the mourning lasts a long time. Please be gentle with yourselves and allow the time and space to do it. My thoughts go out to you and your pack tonight. When i light the remembrance candle tonight it will be w/ you in mind. take care.
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:13 pmI understand and agree, Jacquine. Thank you for your kind words and care. Your remembrance candle was felt and we are so grateful. Thank you, Jacquine.
Christina says
April 23, 2015 at 11:55 amSo sorry for your loss! Sounds like she had a pretty good life while she was with you and that’s a good thing
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:35 pmIndeed, we had a good life. She was pure joy. Thank you for your sweet note, Christina.
Lynne says
April 23, 2015 at 11:26 amYour photos and narrative are a remarkable peek into the great life you, Rob, and Claire Cat shared. Beautifully done and an excellent and inspiring message.
Thanks for being you always and no matter what. I count you as one of those strong women that influence me positively be it far or near.
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:36 pmOh, Lynne. Thank you for your warmth and sweet spirit. xo
Julia | Orchard Street Kitchen says
April 23, 2015 at 10:53 amTraci, your tribute brought tears to my eyes. Claire was a beautiful girl, both inside and out. She was so lucky to find you all those years ago, but I think it was meant to be. She must have sensed the kindness in you immediately. And what a personality she had! She seemed to have a gusto for life.
You and Rob were such wonderful parents to her. I hope that by sharing your happy moments with her (I laughed at the water bottle scene – we’ve been known to use that with our two kitties in the early morning hours too!) your healing process can begin. And by keeping her memory strong, she’ll never actually leave you. I’m sending you a huge hug, my friend!
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:38 pmThank you for your warmth, love and sweet note. I couldn’t agree more, Julia. Our relationship was meant to be. She was an adventurous and charming cat… one look and you’d be smitten. Water bottle… you know. That cat out smarted us so many times!
Kelly @ Inspired Edibles says
April 23, 2015 at 10:08 amAh, Traci, this is just so beautiful. I’m writing with tears streaming down my face as I consider your words, your love and the life of your dear friend Claire. All the memories your share from her feline antics to her spunky personality to her final years in your care. It is so very difficult to say goodbye. I want to thank you for sharing this journey with us; I feel like I too had a chance to meet your beautiful girl and see a little bit into her precious life. I cannot believe that you captured that photo of Claire with the deer – incredible. I also love her pad in the sunlight. Cats basking in warm light – I’m not sure there’s anything they enjoy more (well, maybe fish for sweet Claire). Your photos make my heart swell and your words split me in two. What a good mamma you were to this love in your life. Just beautiful; all of it. xx
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:41 pmOh, Kelly, I know. I’m having a hard time responding to comments, but know, this is part of the process, grieving, gratitude and love. It’s so hard. Thank you for your notes, checking up on me, love, and kindness . I appreciate your note so much my friend.
deb says
April 23, 2015 at 7:39 amWhat a beautiful tribute, Traci! I clicked over to Kittle’s, too. Your cat photography is just as amazing as your food photography, and your writing made me cry. I know that doing this must have been painful, but also healing. What a beautiful way to honor your sweet little friend. I am sending many hugs to you and to Rob.
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:50 pmOh, Kittle too.. thank you for your sweet words and warm embrace, Deb. Healing, painful… indeed.
[email protected] says
April 23, 2015 at 6:51 amOh, I’m so sorry, Traci. What a faithful friend you found so long ago.
Thinking of you, friend!
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:09 pmThank you for your love and warm thoughts, Andrea.
Rachel says
April 23, 2015 at 6:09 amYou wrote so beautifully about your special cat. I’ve felt your pain through numerous losses of puppies and dogs throughout the years but could never put my heartache into such beautiful words as you did. Bravo to you and your husband for spending the time with Claire to ensure her good health and to help her live her last years surrounded by such joy and love.
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:09 pmThank you, Rachel. Your kind words mean so much. It’s hard to imagine sometimes, ever having another pet… seeing through the pain is difficult. Claire was such a gift, as your your special puppies and dogs. Thank you for sharing.
Becky says
April 23, 2015 at 5:50 amWhat a beautiful tribute to your kitty. Letting go and saying goodbye is one of life’s most difficult challenges. The sadness is overwhelming, and my heart goes out to you. Thanks for sharing your pain and your joy. Claire kitty was a gift to you, and now to me as well.
Traci says
April 25, 2015 at 6:07 pmThank you so much Becky. Dear Claire was pure love and such a joy to have in our lives. I miss her every day. Thank you for your kind words. They mean so much.